Its YOUR Choice
"She made me do it!"
I think that is something we've all said and heard many a time from a young child who has been caught in the act. And while we chuckle now, there are instances where we claim the same thing.
As human beings we naturally blame others for our weaknesses, insecurities, and mistakes. It is embarrassing to admit you are wrong. (Believe me, I've done it far too many times.) And placing the blame on another is so easy. But you are the only one that can decide what you feel and how you act. "Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves-- to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life." (2 Nephi 10:23)
There are five phrases that could be completely erased from society's vocabulary if we decided for ourselves to have a different attitude. Let me share.
He makes me so angry/happy/sad/mad. . .
No one can make you do anything. That's the beautiful thing about the gift of agency. (Helaman 14:30) Granted, some people may make it very difficult to stay positive. There will always be those that wish to tear us down, make us feel less than we are, and want to show us the worst sides of ourselves. However, if we truly know who we are, children of a loving Heavenly Father, then their hurtful words and unkindness cannot get to us. BUT it is a choice to remember. And it's one we have to make every day in order to act upon that knowledge.
This isn't any fun/ I'm bored/ I don't want to be here. . .
Let be honest, we have all sat through boring meetings, classes, presentations, and so on. But they don't have to be boring!
I can't feel the spirit. . .
Disclaimer, this is the anomaly of the phrases. I do not think this phrase should be erased from society's vocabulary. We all have moments when we do not feel the spirit. Without darkness, how could we experience light? Whether it is sin, pride, or simply ourselves that keep us from feeling the spirit, it is always something that you choose to change.
No one likes me/ I'm not accepted/ I'm not included/I don't have any friends. . .
There will be times when we do not feel like we belong. There will be times when we are alone and there is not one that we can call a friend. But there is one who will always be there no matter your circumstance. You are never truly friendless. John 15: 13-14 says, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." Jesus Christ is our friend and He will not leave us alone. (John 14: 18)
It's too hard/ I can't. . . .
That isn't true. Yes you can.
In Mosiah 24: 13-15 it tells the story of Alma and his people. They had some tough burdens that they were trying to bear. I don't doubt they had moments where they felt like they couldn't do it anymore. But the beautiful part came when they turned to their Heavenly Father and their Savior Jesus Christ who helped lift those burdens. (Matthew 11:28-30)
Sometimes the burdens are not taken away. Sometimes He will simply strengthen us so that we can carry those burdens more easily.
Choose to turn to Him. Choose to allow Him to help you. Choose to work hard, because sometimes we need to in order to grow.
So next time you find yourself saying one of these phrases, stop yourself. Choose something else. Agency is a gift. Use it.
I think that is something we've all said and heard many a time from a young child who has been caught in the act. And while we chuckle now, there are instances where we claim the same thing.
As human beings we naturally blame others for our weaknesses, insecurities, and mistakes. It is embarrassing to admit you are wrong. (Believe me, I've done it far too many times.) And placing the blame on another is so easy. But you are the only one that can decide what you feel and how you act. "Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves-- to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life." (2 Nephi 10:23)
There are five phrases that could be completely erased from society's vocabulary if we decided for ourselves to have a different attitude. Let me share.
He makes me so angry/happy/sad/mad. . .
No one can make you do anything. That's the beautiful thing about the gift of agency. (Helaman 14:30) Granted, some people may make it very difficult to stay positive. There will always be those that wish to tear us down, make us feel less than we are, and want to show us the worst sides of ourselves. However, if we truly know who we are, children of a loving Heavenly Father, then their hurtful words and unkindness cannot get to us. BUT it is a choice to remember. And it's one we have to make every day in order to act upon that knowledge.
This isn't any fun/ I'm bored/ I don't want to be here. . .
Let be honest, we have all sat through boring meetings, classes, presentations, and so on. But they don't have to be boring!
You simply have to choose to be where you are.
If you are at FHE, be there. Don't allow your thoughts to remain on the tasks that you haven't finished, or the friends you wish you were with. If you are at church, be there. Be invested in what Heavenly Father wants you to know that day. If you are at school, be invested in the lesson. You'd be surprised how much you can learn and how exciting a subject can be when you sincerely try to learn.
Disclaimer, this is the anomaly of the phrases. I do not think this phrase should be erased from society's vocabulary. We all have moments when we do not feel the spirit. Without darkness, how could we experience light? Whether it is sin, pride, or simply ourselves that keep us from feeling the spirit, it is always something that you choose to change.
Perhaps there is a sin we need to repent of or our lifestyle is one that does not allow the spirit. Whatever the cause, it is always an individual choice. We cannot blame our lack of the spirit on someone else.
The Sunday school teacher, Seminary teacher, young womens leader, Bishop, etc.. . . does not make us feel the spirit. The lesson, no matter the subject, cannot make us feel the spirit. The scriptures cannot make us feel the spirit. We have to allow ourselves to have an open heart and listen to that still, small voice.
No one likes me/ I'm not accepted/ I'm not included/I don't have any friends. . .
There will be times when we do not feel like we belong. There will be times when we are alone and there is not one that we can call a friend. But there is one who will always be there no matter your circumstance. You are never truly friendless. John 15: 13-14 says, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." Jesus Christ is our friend and He will not leave us alone. (John 14: 18)
However there are times we feel friendless when we are just not looking. There are many people who may wish to be your friend, but you do not see them. What would happen if you sat next to the girl in the lunch room who sits alone? What would happen if you talked to the quiet boy next to you in chemistry class?
The first step to having friends, is being a friend. The first step to being accepted is being accepting. The first step to being included is including others.
That isn't true. Yes you can.
In Mosiah 24: 13-15 it tells the story of Alma and his people. They had some tough burdens that they were trying to bear. I don't doubt they had moments where they felt like they couldn't do it anymore. But the beautiful part came when they turned to their Heavenly Father and their Savior Jesus Christ who helped lift those burdens. (Matthew 11:28-30)
Sometimes the burdens are not taken away. Sometimes He will simply strengthen us so that we can carry those burdens more easily.
Choose to turn to Him. Choose to allow Him to help you. Choose to work hard, because sometimes we need to in order to grow.
So next time you find yourself saying one of these phrases, stop yourself. Choose something else. Agency is a gift. Use it.
I love these thoughts, Leah! These are all great reminders for when we begin to think or say these things, and to know that we are able to act for ourselves to make life an even better place than we thought it could be. It's amazing to know that we are never alone as well. Thank you! You are a constant inspiration to me! -Claire J.
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